[ENG] The hungering

Leo shuffled in his seat at the library café, not really comfortable with how the blind date was unfolding. Two nights ago, his friends had convinced him to meet Sarah, the gorgeous blonde now sitting across from him, saying how perfect they would be for each other. When Leo first laid eyes on her he was immediately smitten, and right at that moment he knew he had the best friends in the world. But after hearing her speak for a few minutes, things started to spiral downward.

Sure, Sarah was beautiful, and even smart, but in the fifteen minutes of having met each other, she hadn’t shut up for even a second. She talked about her job, her yoga classes, her dog Toto, their common friends and a bunch of other stuff Leo decided not to care about. He half-listened to her, improvising a smile here and there while playing with his coffee cup, wishing he was somewhere else.

That’s when something struck him.

It was the most extraordinary sensation Leo had ever experienced in his whole life, but given the chance to describe it, he would’ve found himself lost for words. He didn’t know how it happened or what provoked it, and he didn’t actually care. The only thing he knew, the one thing he was absolutely certain of, was that the feeling would subside, and once it left him, nothing would ever feel right again. He had to prolong it somehow, make it a part of himself, else his life would forever be devoid of meaning.

He immediately got up, as if moved by a force far greater than himself, and suddenly, Sarah and everyone else in the room did the same. They all carefully eyed each other for a few seconds, until a woman from a nearby table began to run.

It all started right then.

A guy tackled her and brought her stumbling to the floor while a group of six darted to the stairs, pushing each other, shoving people in their way and stomping on all those already on the floor, victims of punches, kicks and slams of other maniacs. Some jumped the railings in their desperation to reach the first floor, breaking their fall on the people downstairs or simply breaking their legs.

Leo hadn’t waited to examine the situation or to try and understand what was happening, he just felt a pressing need to get out of there any way possible. Forgetting his date altogether, he pushed his way through a bunch of kids, evaded a punch, smacked a guy on the head with a coffee pot and got to the first floor almost unscathed. But at that moment, someone grabbed him from the hair and another bit his ankle. He tried to turn around and face his attackers, but a blow to the stomach by a third lunatic took all his strength away. Leo fell to the floor, tears swelling under his eyes, knowing he was very close to losing the exquisite sensation that had empowered him only seconds ago.

But he wasn’t about to let it go, he simply couldn’t.

Pinned to the ground, with several people walking over and on top of him, stomping on his back and head, the only thing Leo was able to do was blindly grab onto the leg of a passerby, a stocky man. In response, he got a kick to the face from the man's other leg, which almost made him let go. But he didn’t.

His victim pulled and kicked viciously while he used the momentum to drag himself forward, his face swelling and blood trickling down to his eyes, but by then he was totally numb to the pain. As his attackers got distracted fighting each other, he made a last pull and got up, toppling the man and leaving him at the mercy of the savages.

After covering a short distance, Leo felt a pang on the stomach, which made him stop for a few seconds and eventually turn back. The man still lay on the ground, thrashing wildly while being crushed by the masses. Leo pushed his way towards him, grabbed one of the flailing arms and dragged him to a side room, where no one was around. And, without stopping to check on him, he ran again, this time determined to get out.

When he stepped out of the room, he saw Sarah on the stairs, her dress spattered with coffee and blood, her pretty hair now in a jumble. She carried her remaining shoe on one hand, which she used to whack a couple of people on her way down, two guys who weren't even on her way. Against his better judgment, Leo once again felt attracted to her, but fought the urge as hard as he could and decided not to get near her.

All thoughts aside, still drawn by the powerful sensation that had started it all, he ran again towards the exit, half-blind to the happenings around him. He stepped out of the café and into the library proper, where things looked even worse. He charged through a barrier of bodies elbowing his way in desperation towards the entrance, his head spinning. After much struggle, he was finally able to move through the doors and exit the building, feeling relief only for the briefest of moments.

He ran through the streets, half-blind to the happenings around him, to all the chaos and turmoil the city was now under. Drivers lay motionless on their crashed vehicles, either jutting from building walls or rammed against other cars. The ones still breathing forced their way through the streets, running over anyone that dared cross their path. Hundreds of bodies littered the pavement, some completely still and others writhing in pain, soon to be crushed under the wheels. Those on their feet were running just like Leo, stopping only to push aside anyone slower than themselves or to fight without any real purpose.

Leo’s mind was clouded and he had begun to lose ownership over his own actions, but he still felt the hunger. He didn’t exactly know where his feet were taking him, but felt the constant pull from a specific direction. He kept on going, ignoring a few cries of help nearby, certain it was only a ruse to get him, absolutely sure that offering some aid, even if their misery was real, would only stop him. He kept on going.

He ran for hours until his legs throbbed. Then he walked, until the city and its disarray lay well behind him. There in the countryside, without having seen any other living human being for miles, he forced himself to stop next to a dried-up bush, certain that the cover of night might give him some respite for a few minutes.

The feeling hadn’t subsided, not one bit, and Leo would bet his life it had gotten even stronger, as if he was very near. He still couldn’t give a name to it, any semblance of meaning slipped away as soon as he thought of it, but it comforted him, made his stomach flutter and his exhaustion wane a bit. And amidst that soothing sensation, he slowly began to drift away into sleep.

He felt something else, though, some kind of pressure starting to build up on his leg. He took it as the costly consequence of his crusade, but as the pressure turned into searing pain, he soon realized his mistake and opened his eyes.

A pang of recognition struck him as he saw Sarah kneeling next to him, gnawing on his calf, her lips and nose drenched with blood. As Leo recoiled from her, pain flaring from his leg, he saw his calf had several bite marks and a few pieces of meat were missing. He immediately tried to move away and stand up, but the woman jumped on top of him with feral speed, driving putrid hands toward his neck and using her body to pin him to the ground.

As Sarah squeezed, Leo thrashed about, punching her arms and contorting his body to topple her, but couldn’t quite get away from her grip. Desperation took hold of him, the thought of never being able to obtain the source of his craving boring its way deeper into his mind, giving him strength in spite of all.

But it wasn’t enough.

Try as he may, he was absolutely stuck. No matter how hard he longed for it, how badly he desired it, he wasn’t going anywhere. This was the end of the line, the end of his life. And for what? What had compelled him so sweetly? Why was he so entranced with it? Why did it matter so much?

“Why…?”, he heard someone say in a guttural voice and soon understood he was the one that had spoken. He hadn’t uttered a single word since everything had started, and his voice felt otherworldly, not his own. Or maybe he had forgotten how he really sounded.

It took Sarah by surprise as well, and for the briefest of seconds, she stopped squeezing, confusion beginning to show all over her bloodied face. She opened her mouth, as if about to answer, but nothing came out, not one sound.

Leo didn’t wait for another chance. He gathered his remaining strength, took hold of Sarah's arms and pulled her close to him, almost face to face. And then he bit as hard as he could. He chomped her cheek and took a big chunk of it before tossing her aside without even thinking about it.

Leo crawled away while his attacker screamed in agony. He tried to walk, but only got a few meters away before falling back down because of the pain on his leg. Still he kept going. Free once again to pursue the feeling, he wasn’t about to let his wounds stop him, not when it felt so agonizingly close, not if it killed him.

He went on for several minutes before realizing he was still biting a piece of Sarah's cheek, which he quickly spat out. Her cries had ceased and he didn’t know if she had died or was following the trail of blood he was leaving; he knew how easy a target he was, how others could also overtake or tear him down without much effort. Yet he didn’t care. The feeling was close, so much so he could almost reach out and grab it. So he went on without thinking about anything else.

And not long after, with his energy almost drained out from all the loss of blood, he saw a nearby wooden building he hadn’t noticed before, a small, quaint cabin, smoke coming out of its chimney. He was certain the feeling came from inside. It had to, strange as it might’ve seemed, though strangeness had acquired a whole new meaning to him. He had gone all this way because of it and he couldn’t go back now; there wasn’t anything left to go back to anyway.

He approached steadily, without minding the bodies laying around, of those who had come this far and hadn’t actually made it. So close and yet not close enough. He was soon in front of the door, touching it, almost caressing it, sensing the warmth that came from inside.

Leo worked through the pain on his leg and stood up, and just when he was about to knock on the door, someone opened it.

In front of him stood a woman dressed in simple clothes, plain-looking and still with a certain beauty about her; young yet with eyes that spoke of a long, harsh life. She was smiling, sweetly and knowingly, while silently offering her hand as a welcoming gesture. Leo knew he was expected, this was the place he needed to be, the person he had come to find, though he couldn't, for his life, know why. He took her hand, soft but firm, and let himself be taken inside.

The place was small, with a burning stove on one side, a single table next to it and a bed opposite to them. The walls seemed old and rotten, splintered here and there, and the floor gave low creaks with every step, as if groaning. There was a pungent smell lingering about, but Leo couldn't quite place the source or what exactly it reminded him of. He just let himself be hurriedly led to the bed.

Laying on the mattress gave him some comfort, but having the woman so close disturbed and even unnerved him. He knew then, with absolute certainty, that she was the source of the feeling that started it all; for whatever reason, she was responsible for him being there.

Leo noticed the woman was inspecting his leg wound, softly touching it. There was no pain anymore, only a hunger that kept on rising. He wanted her, needed her, but not as he would have desired another person, but as something more pressing, more intimate, more irrevocably visceral.

He lifted his arm and, just when he was about to touch her, the woman bit hard on his leg. Leo felt nothing, but immediately stopped himself. He let her keep biting, until eventually she began to tear his flesh away.

"Why...?", Leo said, not being able to finish the question.

The woman immediately stopped, a bloody smile slowly surfacing on her face.

“There’s not enough for everyone. Hell, there’s not enough even for one”, she said matter-of-factly.

And that was enough for him; it made absolute sense. The answer to everything, the thing he had been searching for, now in full view.

He felt a pang from deep inside his stomach and was soon laughing. As tears welled in his eyes, as his body ached and throbbed, as his bones were breaking and pain enveloped him, pleasure came as well, absolute bliss. As he lay on the stranger's bed, he knew he had gotten what he most desired, and now he could finally let go.

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